Adventures of Cedward Cullen, Jedi
by Shady Spiral
Summary: You think you know Edward Cullen? Well, did you know that he used to be a wizard named Cedric until he was murdered by Lord Voldemort? And did you know that he became a Jedi after being rejected by wizards? I didn't think so.
1. Death and UnDeath

Adventures of Cedward Cullen, Jedi

This is the true story of a vampire named Edward Cullen. This is the story that he didn't tell Bella. Born Edward Masen? Psh. Killed by the Spanish flu? Ha! Last time I checked, Cedric Diggory was not Edward Masen, and Lord Voldemort wasn't the Spanish flu. Oh, yeah, and all that crap about his life with the Cullens as a vampire? He spent most of that time being a Jedi. This is the true story of Cedric Edward Cullen Diggory Skywalker.

The last thing he remembered was a flash of green light, then nothingness. He was dead, dead as a doornail. That's what happened when the most powerful Dark wizard of all time shouted "Avada Kedavra" at you. You died, no exceptions. Well, except for that Potter boy, but he was an exception to all the rules, wasn't he?

So there was absolutely no way that Cedric was still alive. The fact that he could hear voices was beside the point. And the burning pain that Cedric was feeling throughout his entire body? He must be in hell. There was no other option.

But then why was the pain receding? In hell, the fire didn't just _go away. _But it was. Cedric decided to consider his options. Maybe You-Know-Who's curse went wrong. Again. But then, why the pain? Maybe Harry had been in intense burning pain. Cedric had never thought to ask him. And besides, Harry had been a baby. He wouldn't have remembered anyway.

"Can you hear me?" said a voice.

"Yes," said Cedric, "Who are you? Where am I? How am I still alive? Where is You-Know-Who?"

"My name is Carlisle," said the voice, "And you are at my house. You are still alive because I am a vampire and I bit you, turning you into a vampire. And I don't know who You-Know-Who is."

Cedric opened his eyes to find a young blond man standing at his side. Cedric supposed he was rather attractive, though not near as attractive as Cedric. No way this man could date Cho Chang.

"Why did you bite me?" Cedric asked.

"Your father was so upset about your death that it broke my heart to leave you...dead," said Carlisle.

"So Harry did bring my body back from the maze? I hoped he would," said Cedric.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Carlisle.

"I was competing in the Triwizard Tournament with Harry, and two others. So I suppose it wasn't a Triwizard Tournament, but a...Quadwizard Tournament? You see, Harry somehow got through Dumbledore's Age Line with the Goblet of Fire. Well, the last task was a maze. Harry and I got through most of it, and we decided to tie and touch the Cup at the same time. Well, apparently, the Cup was a Portkey, and we ended up in a graveyard with You-Know-Who, and You-Know-Who killed me."

Carlisle stared blankly at him.

"I still have no idea what your talking about," he said.

"Oh, well," said Cedric, "That doesn't matter. I need to go see Harry Potter and see what happened to my wand."

Cedric arose from the bed, and was amazed to find how quickly he managed to do that. He did a quick lap around the room to find that he was impossibly fast. He reached over to the bed and lifted it with ease. He was also very strong.

"Wow," said Cedric, "I didn't know vampires had such awesome abilities! Aw, man, I'm going to be GREAT at Quidditch!"

"Did you...already believe in vampires?" Carlisle asked, confused.

"Of course," said Cedric, "Every wizard does."

With that, he jumped out the window.

It took Cedric a little while to realize that he was in America, and had to make it to England. It was a fairly simple matter of swimming the Atlantic Ocean, and he made it to England. He wasn't sure exactly where Harry lived during the summer holidays, so he set course for Hogwarts to find out. He arrived at Hogwarts to find it completely empty. It hadn't occurred to him that the staff wouldn't be present over the summer holidays. He managed to find Hagrid, though, who gave him Harry's address.

While running through the Scottish countryside, he realized how extremely thirsty he was. He happened to come across a Muggle, and decided that it wouldn't hurt to have a few sips. After leaving his dead body on the side of the road, Cedric realized that this probably went against some Muggle Relations law. _Oh well, _he thought, _No one has to know...._

Cedric finally reached Surrey after nightfall, and it didn't take him long to find Number 4 Privet Drive. He found that it was quite easy to jump into the second floor window, from which he heard the unmistakable sounds of Harry snoring.

He crept over to Harry's bed. His snowy owl hooted in alarm in the corner of the room. Cedric shook Harry's arm.

"Harry?" Cedric whispered.

Harry moaned, muttered something, and rolled over.

"Harry," Cedric said a bit louder, shaking Harry's arm again.

"Shut up, Ron," said Harry.

"Harry!" Cedric said.

"Five more minutes, Aunt Petunia," said Harry.

"_HARRY!" _Cedric yelled.

Harry's owl hooted, and Harry awoke with a start. He caught sight of Cedric, and began screaming loudly.

"Harry, shut up and listen to me!" said Cedric.

"But-but...you're dead," said Harry.

"Well, I was," said Cedric, "But now I'm alive again. At least, I think I'm alive....Maybe I'm just undead...."

Harry stared at him.

"I saw Voldemort kill you," said Harry.

"Yeah, he did kill me," said Cedric, "But then I was bitten by a vampire. So, I'm a vampire now."

"I think I'm dreaming," muttered Harry.

"No, your not," said Cedric.

"You'd say that in my dream," said Harry.

"I swear, Harry. You're awake. And I have a question to ask you," said Cedric.

"What?" said Harry.

"What happened to my wand?"

Harry thought about it for a second.

"I really don't know," said Harry, "I wasn't very concerned about your wand at the moment. I was a little preoccupied with Lord Voldemort."

"Yeah, I guess you were, weren't you?" said Cedric, "Thanks for dragging my dead body back, by the way."

"Your welcome," said Harry.

"Well," said Cedric, "I guess I'll be running along. I'll go to Ollivander's and get a new wand."

"See you," muttered Harry, sinking back into his pillow.

Cedric realized his dilemma when he reached London and attempted to get into Diagon Alley. Without a wand, he couldn't tap the brick....He made his way to the Leaky Cauldron, where he asked Tom the bartender to let him into Diagon Alley.

Cedric entered Ollivander's shop.

"Hello," said Ollivander, looking at Cedric in that creepy way of his, "What are you doing here? You already have a wand!"

"Yes," said Cedric, "But I...lost it."

"You _lost _your wand?" Ollivander looked furious.

"Er...yes," said Cedric, "You see, I was killed by You-Know-Who, and then brought back as a vampire. I'm not sure what happened to my wand during that time."

Ollivander stared at him.

"I am forbidden by the Ministry of Magic to give you a wand," said Ollivander, "Vampires are classified as non-wizards, and non-wizards aren't allowed wands."

"But I'm still a wizard!" said Cedric, "Just an un-dead one!"

"You do not see ghosts with wands, do you?" said Ollivander.

"Well, no," said Cedric, "But that's different. Ghosts are, you know, transparent. They couldn't even hold a wand, could they?"

"No," said Ollivander, "But that's beside the point. What about centaurs? They do not have wands."

"Well, they don't want wands, do they?" said Cedric.

"You do not see trolls with wands."

"Well, no, but–"

"Nor giants."

"But-"

"Nor house elves."

"Okay, maybe not. But what about werewolves? They have wands. Professor Lupin, he taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he was a werewolf. He definitely had a wand."

"But you are not a werewolf, are you?"

"No!" said Cedric desperately, "But what's the difference in being bitten by a werewolf and being bitten by a vampire? Nothing!"

"There's a huge difference," said Ollivander coldly, "And you are not getting a wand."

Cedric left Ollivander's, grumbling. He was completely unsure of what to do. It would be humiliating to live in the wizarding world without his wand. That Carlisle guy had seemed nice enough. Cedric decided to go back to live with him.


	2. The Rechristening of Cedric Diggory

**Note: I accidentally only posted half of this chapter last time, making the title completely irrelevent. My apologies. **

Chapter Two

The Re-Christening of Cedric Diggory

By the time Cedric made it back to Carlisle's house, he was in a very bad mood. The swim from England had forced him to think over the strange turn his life had made. Stupid Ministry of Magic! Why should they deny him a wand? He had been murdered by He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named, for crying out loud! Why couldn't they cut him some slack, and maybe be _happy _that he wasn't dead? Harry Potter survived the curse, after all, and everyone was all "Oh, the Boy Who Lived! We love Harry Potter!" Well, why couldn't Cedric be "the Vampire Who Lived"? Then again, vampires weren't technically _alive. _Just un-dead. So, "the Vampire Who Was Un-dead?" That didn't work either, since all vampires were un-dead. How about "the Really Handsome Wizard Who Was Killed by You-Know-Who and was Then Turned Into a Vampire and was Un-dead." Cedric had to admit, it didn't quite have the ring that "the Boy Who Lived" had. But that didn't matter! Shouldn't he be hailed as a conquering warrior? Even Harry hadn't seemed happy to see him!

So Cedric slammed Carlisle's door extra-hard as he entered the house. He hadn't yet figured in his new vampire strength, so the door cracked in half and fell to the floor.

"Oops," said Cedric.

Carlisle appeared in the hallway.

"Sorry about the door," said Cedric.

"It's fine," said Carlisle stoically.

"Er, right," said Cedric, "Um, yeah, I'm not going to lie to you. I have no idea what to do now. Ollivander said that I couldn't have a wand, and there's just no being a wizard without having a wand. I mean, there are some in the wizarding community that don't have wands, like Squibs and people who were expelled from Hogwarts, but it's a pride thing, you know?"

"Yes, I understand," said Carlisle, though by his tone, Cedric seriously doubted he understood.

"Yes, I have my pride to think about," Cedric went on dramatically, "What would my father think if I turned up on his doorstep, friendless and wandless. What would Cho think? What about the kids at school?"

"Yes, that is something to think about," said Carlisle, clearly not paying attention, considering he was facing the staircase and not Cedric.

"Who is that?" asked Cedric, pointing to the small girl coming down the stairs.

"This is Alice," said Carlisle, "She is your new sister, if you choose to become a Cullen and live with us."

"Oh," said Cedric, "Cool. Yeah, sure, I'll become a Cullen. That's kind of a cooler name than Diggory, anyway."

"Hello!" said Alice brightly.

"Oh, you did?" said Cedric, confused.

"Of course!" said Alice, "I can see the future!"

"Oh, so you know Divination?" said Cedric excitedly, "And you're a Seer? I took a class at Hogwarts on Divination, but I strongly suspect Professor Trelawny was a fraud."

Alice stared at him.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," she said, "I don't know what that Divi-thingy is."

"Oh," said Cedric disappointedly, "So you were never a witch?"

"Um...no," said Alice.

"Too bad," sighed Cedric, "For I was a wizard once (just a few days ago, actually), but alas, I am...a wizard no more."

Alice and Carlisle glanced at each other nervously. Cedric sure looked like he would be crying if that was possible.

"I had so much going for me, too," Cedric went on, "Tri-wizard champion and all that..."

He sighed again dramatically.

_I'm pretty sure Carlisle picked a crazy one this time. I mean, I thought _I _was crazy, but I'm nothing compared to this guy. _Cedric stared at Alice. That was definitely her voice that he heard, but her lips weren't moving.

_That's the last time I bite someone. You just can't risk it. I had no idea this boy was that crazy. _And that had been Carlisle's voice. A huge grin spread over Cedric's face.

"I've learned Legilimency!" Cedric said excitedly, "But how could that be? I have no wand..."

_He really is crazy. _"No, I'm not crazy!" said Cedric, "I can _read your mind!" _Alice and Carlisle looked at each other again.

_Completely mental. _"No, really!" said Cedric, "Alice just said my mind was totally gone, and Carlisle called me mental. Thanks for that, by the way."

Poor kid. Mind totally gone.

"Well...," said Alice with a shrug, "I guess if I can see the future, then Cedric can read minds."

"So can all vampires read minds?" asked Cedric.

"No," said Carlisle, "That's just a special gift of yours, I suppose."

"Cool!" said Cedric.

"Anyway, Cedric–" Carlisle started.

"Wait a minute," said Cedric.

"What?"

"I don't want to be called Cedric anymore," said Cedric, "It reminds me too much of the world that I left. As a wizard, I was Cedric. As a vampire, I need a different name. It hurts too much to hear that name."

"Um, okay, then," said Carlisle, "What would you like to be called?"

"I don't know," said the vampire formally known as Cedric, "I want a name that sounds a little bit like Cedric. You know, to commemorate who I once was."

"How about Sandy?" suggested Alice.

"Naw, too girly," said the vampire formally known as Cedric.

"Cedro?"

"No, too close to Cedric."

"Edric?"

"Too weird."

"Edro?"

"Even weirder."

"How about...Edward?"

"Edward...," he said, "Hmm...It sounds a little bit like Cedric, but its different enough so that it won't totally remind me of the life I gave up. Yes, Edward it is. I am now to be called Edward Cullen!"


	3. The Return of Malcolm

**You might want to go back and read chapter 2 again, seeing as I accidentally only posted half of it. And this chapter is really short. Sorry. **

Chapter 3

Return of Malcolm

Cedward (as he chose to refer to himself during the "transition period") was adjusting to vampire life fairly well, except for the occasional fits he threw when reminded of his past. Carlisle had explained the Cullen rules to him, of which there was really only one main rule, which was don't drink human blood.

"Not even the blood of a Muggle?" he had asked.

"I don't know what that is," said Carlisle, "but if it is a Muggle, then no."

Cedward sighed. That Muggle's blood had been so delicious....How would Carlisle know if he slipped up?

"And don't think that I won't know if you drink a human's blood," continued Carlisle as if he had read Cedward's mind, which was ridiculous since Cedward was the one who could read minds, "Human blood will cause you to have red eyes."

"What color are my eyes if I drink animal blood?" asked Cedward.

"A golden color," said Alice, who was sitting on the steps nearby.

"Yes," agreed Carlisle, "A golden color that fades to black as you get more thirsty."

Alice winced suddenly.

"Wait," said Cedward suddenly, "Gold, that's like yellow, right?"

"Uh...yes, I suppose so," said Carlisle, frowning.

"So, our eyes are yellow and black?" said Cedward, tension obviously mounting.

"I've got a bad feeling about this...," said Alice.

"Yes, our eyes are yellow and black," Carlisle said with a shrug.

"YELLOW AND BLACK!" Cedward yelled in agony, "YELLOW AND BLACK!"

He began to sob tearlessly.

"What's so bad about yellow and black?" asked Emmett, who was sitting on the couch watching television.

"YELLOW AND BLACK ARE HUFFLEPUFF COLORS!!" he sobbed, "HUFFLEPUFF!!!!!"

Cedward jumped over Alice on the stairs and ran to his room. He slammed the door shut, though not quite hard enough to break it. (He was adjusting, after all.) He began pacing the room, muttering to himself. A sound suddenly came through his fit, a soft, hooting sound.

"MALCOLM!" yelled Cedward. He had glanced over at the window, where a handsome grey owl was perched. He ran over to it and began to stroke it.

"Malcolm, you found me!" said Cedward.

The owl stared at him dolefully, as if to say, "Of course I found you."

"And you brought me the latest Honeydukes catalogue! Excellent!" he said excitedly, "Oh, wait....I can't eat this stuff anymore."

Cedward heard footsteps in the hallway outside his room. Emmett's head poked inside. His glance landed on Malcolm.

"Awesome!" said Emmett, "I've never tasted owl before!"

Emmett crouched and sprung. Just as he was about to snag the owl in his teeth, Cedward flung himself in front of him. Their bodies collided with the sound of crunching granite, and Malcolm fled out the window.

"Emmett!" yelled Cedward, "There will be NO EATING MALCOLM! Malcolm, come back!" The owl refused to come back until Cedward had called a family meeting, and forbid anyone from touching Malcolm.

That night, Cedward decided to flip through the Honeydukes catalogue for lack of anything better to do. Besides, it was a nice link to the wizarding world. He flipped through pages and pages of delicious snacks. Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, Chocolate Frogs, Sugar Quills, Cauldron Cakes, Droobles Best Chewing Gum....Cedward sighed longingly. Then, he gasped.

"YES!" he yelled. The rest of the family ignored him. They had grown accustomed to his yelling at no one.

There, on the page, was the best thing Cedward had ever seen in his life. Or, at least, his life after becoming a vampire, which would technically be un-life....Blood Pops. He had forgotten all about them. Human flavored, but containing no actual human. The advertisement said that they were quite nutritious, too. Cedward quickly scribbled down his order and sent Malcolm off to England.

After his supply of Blood Pops came in, Cedward did a little bit better with his new vampire life.

**So far, there's only been Harry Potter and Twilight stuff. Except for the one reference to Star Wars in this chapter, which any fan of Star Wars should get. There will be Star Wars stuff in the next chapter. **


End file.
